Rehab Ranch goes to San Antonio

Has it really been a month since we posted? Shame on us, CrazylilAnnie!!! We’ve been “researching” and “gathering data” to provide ya’ll with more stories. Yeah, that’s my story and I’m gonna stick with it!

Soooooo…..a little over a week ago I saw a tweet from #PBR that said yada-yada retweet to win tickets to San Antonio yada-yada-yada. So I randomly thought “Eh, what the heck. I’ll never win….they know who I am!” But I re-tweeted it anyway and went along my merry way. Well lo and behold, I find out the next day that I’ve won tickets to see the PBR (last) Saturday night in San Antonio. Mind you, I had no prior thoughts of venturing to San Antonio. My Cowboy was off in Wyoming, and I had planned to organize my bedroom closet and do other responsible (read: boring) grown-up stuff all weekend. Weeellllll….that all changed in the blink of an eye. By the time I really got to talk to CrazylilAnnie, she’d pretty much already booked us a room at the host hotel. #greatminds This is one of the many reasons I love her so much.  So I head to SA Friday afternoon and hang with non-PBR friends for the evening and rest up for the ensuing shenanigans.

On Saturday (while waiting for CLA) I go to an autograph signing where Golden Child is…  This is kind of a funny situation. I walk up going “Can I have your autograph???”  Since I’ve been dating his dad for quite awhile now, it’s just funny to think of GC as someone people want autographs from. Now don’t get me wrong, he works hard and can’t wait to get back on next year and prove he’s still got it…but it’s weird to me nonetheless. I guess when you’ve folded 10 loads of laundry for someone, you kinda get over that popularity/notoriety sorta thing.  But I chat with him and talk about catching up with him and his girlfriend–the First Lady–later.  Now you may wonder why I call her the First Lady–it’s totally my way of tipping my hat to her out of respect. She stuck by GC when he was injured and did EVERYTHING for him. And I mean EVERYTHING. She is the ultimate in girlfriends. She’s totally got the grace and beauty of Jackie O.—but with a can of whup-ass up her sleeve at all times. You gotta love/respect that in a girl! Anyway, Golden Child and I finish chatting and I go back to my friends’ house to wait for CLA to arrive.

After driving here in the rain the WHOLE way on the Highway from Hell (aka 35), I had a Shiner Bock waiting for her. After resting at my friends’ casa a few minutes, we headed downtown.  We barely have time to check in and get ready before it was time to head to the ATT Center. We decided we might drink while at the event so we were going to be responsible and take a cab. CLA–I think this is a sign we should never ever try to be responsible when attending a PBR event.   I’ll fill ya’ll in on that in a minute.

We get our awesome free tickets (thanks #PBR) and wander around for just a few minutes saying hi to familiar faces. After you go to a few of these events, you start picking out the regulars who attend. Which is cool. PBR fans are all pretty darn friendly so it’s fun to chat.  We eventually make our way to our seats and get ready for the evening’s competition. In all honesty, I don’t really remember much of the bullriding. Was anyone else even there besides JB Mauney and Asteroid?? I honestly don’t remember. I just remember JB picking Asteroid and LJ picking Bushwacker in the draft. I remember stating that I’ve been saying for 2 seasons now that LJ will be the first person to ride B-wack (since he’s matured…he HAS been ridden before, but it was when he was younger). CLA said “I wouldn’t know what to do if both of them rode tonight. I can’t even handle the thought…” (paraphrasing here). So it finally comes down to THE moment. About 3 seconds into the ride, I KNEW JB had him. I just had a gut feeling. CLA and I were both on our feet screaming like crazy women (ok, maybe we ARE crazy women). When we heard the buzzer, we turned to each other and both squealed “Oh my God, I can’t believe it! He really did it!!!!”  It was magical. Unfortunately LJ didn’t fare as well, but hey, I stand by my prediction that if B-wack is ridden this year it will be by LJ. If he’s ridden next year, it will be by Golden Child. Mark my words.

So we exit the ATT Center in a state of euphoria and began the long trek to the the line for taxis. Wouldn’t you know it, just as we get close to the horribly long line (about a 100 deep), it starts to rain. Not just a nice little shower, but like a dam bursting forth. The taxi line was near this convention center building on the property and there was a bit of an overhang so we clung to the side of the building. For over an hour. An hour and 15 minutes of pure misery–diluted only by a large dose of fear as we watched lightning get closer and saw the wind blow the rain sideways.  But alas, we eventually got our drowned-rat little bodies into a taxi and headed to the hotel. Of course, our hair and make-up was ruined, but NOT our spirits. Ya’ll know us too well for that. So what do we do?

We go up to our room, spend quality time with the hair dryer, re-apply makeup and put on dry clothes. Then we marched back down to the hotel bar where everyone (and I mean EVERYONE that had any connection to PBR–fan, employee, etc.) was at and we proceeded to party like the rock stars we are. This is where we connected with other Rehab Ranchers and felt like we were back at the Ranch just hanging out. We spent most of our time with Lucky Charms and the wonderful/amazing/beautiful Sunny, his girlfriend (whom I adore if you can’t tell).  GC and First Lady saw us and came to check on us and make sure we hadn’t drowned in the rain. So we hung with them for awhile too.

But poor CLA had Random Guy hitting on her. At first it was cool, cuz he was kind of cute. But you know how after you talk to someone for a bit, you start thinking “No chance in HELLLL buckaroo!!!” So she spent a lot of her evening trying to get rid of him. While she was busy trying to untangle herself Random Guy, I made the horrible mistake of doing a Jaeger Bomb with LC and other various assorted people. BAD mistake. I had been drinking beer all night and was teetering over the edge of tipsy. This pushed me well over into the drunken range. But I was happy…other than exclaiming that I wished My Cowboy was here about every 5 minutes (I probably annoyed people w/that. Oops!)

Then the bartenders did something really mean. They closed the bar at 1 a.m. WHAT??? What’s that all about? Bars in Texas close at 2 a.m., everyone knows that. But never fear, some other PBR peeps had it covered. They had ordered some beer and invited us to party on the patio(there was a lull in the rainstorm) with them. Poor CLA just *thought* she’d get rid of Random Guy then. But noooooo….he followed her out on the patio and invited himself to the party. NOT cool. But we all hang out and still have a pretty good time. I think I saw NV at one point start to take off his shirt. But I could have just been daydreaming that—I’m really only used to seeing him (shirtless) utilizing the pool at the Ranch, so my alcohol-sogged brain very well could have imagined it all….

So after awhile (time became suspended for Drunk Me at this point) we move the party to La-La Land. CLA *finally* got rid of Random Guy at this point as he was not invited to La-La Land. We’re all just hanging out and chatting and having a good time here. I swear we weren’t being loud but apparently the walls of La-La Land were thin and hotel security came by to tell us to be quiet. So we continued chatting. This is when I started feeling ill. Damn the Jaegermeister!!! At this point, I had to go pay homage to the porcelain god at La La Land. After 10 minutes or so of paying my respects, I came out just in time to see more hotel security.  All serious, I look at CLA and she says “We have to go…” Being Drunk Me, I blankly ask “Where are we going?” Now if I had been even half way sober, I would have gone to my room. That’s what the smart girls did.

But Nikki replies “We’re going to Upstairs.” To which Drunk Me happily replies “Oh Ok!” This just turned out to be a smaller version of La-La Land. But by then our numbers had dwindled and the rain had begun again, so it was a Cozy Place. We moved our little party to the balcony of Cozy Place and proceeded to chat and drink more beer. At this point the rain was pounding and my head was spinning so I had to pull up a chair and just absorb all that was happening. GC had disappeared but then reappeared at some point. I couldn’t help but think how much he reminded me of his dad and then of course started that annoying “I wish My Cowboy was here…” (My apologies to all who had to hear that whiny crap). While I was watching the rain fall, I got dizzy and decided I needed to go worship the porcelain god in the Cozy Place. After another 10 minutes of paying my respects, I go back out on the balcony and try to remember what it felt like to be sober. This was about the time CLA looked at me and said “You can go home now…” Thank you baby Jesus!!!! I was outta there as quick as Drunk Me would allow. I managed to stumble into our room and after paying quick respects to our own porcelain god, I collapsed in my bed and let it spin me into unconsciousness. CLA was….somewhere at this time. She could’ve been right beside me screaming “Fire!” and I wouldn’t have heard.

So we eventually revive ourselves in time to check out of the Marriott Sunday morning around 11. My friend had texted me about a place called El Mirador on St. Mary’s and Caesar Chavez. It’s a nice little local/non-touristy Mexican place.  CLA ordered breakfast but I HAD to have queso and chips. And enchiladas. You can’t be in San Antonio and NOT eat these things at least once. It was AMAZING!!! And I even kept *most* of it down. Well, at least until we got back to my friends’ house.  After crashing at their place for a couple hours, CLA got back on the Highway from Hell while I went back to sleep. I eventually woke up around 4 p.m.-ish and hopped on the Highway from Hell for awhile myself.

We both made it home safe and sound. All in all, it was a fun trip! I’m not a big drinker, so before ya’ll start thinking I’m an alcoholic, let me tell you I only had ONE shot. I probably did have 6-8 beera, but it was over the course of 5-6 hours and on a full stomach. So yep, I was drunk, but I’m not a hard core drunkard I promise!

So here are the things I learned this past weekend:

  • JB Mauney + Asteroid = 8 seconds of Perfection in Motion
  • ATT Center sucks for letting all of us sit in a dangerous thunderstorm with very little cover.
  • I really shouldn’t text/tweet when wigging out abut the weather. I *may* have been just a wee bit melodramatic.
  • Jagermeister + Red Bull + Drunken Me = a toilet worshipping experience
  • As much fun as it was, no more PBR without My Cowboy. All there is for me to do without him is drink…which leads to the above toilet worshipping. uggghh Never again!
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