I’m sorry…what?

Before last Friday I’ve had my cards read twice. Cards…as in tarot. And although I know to take it all with a grain of salt, those two previous readings were wickedly accurate and it’s just so much fun! The first was when I was around 26, still lived in Dallas, and it was just a general reading of who I was and random things about my future. I was with two co-workers so the questions didn’t get to specific. The second was when I was about 28, lived in Los Angeles, and was absolutely positively miserable in my marriage. That reading was RIDICULOUSLY accurate about many things. I still look a bit like Bambi in headlights when I think about it.

There are varying beliefs on anything to do with astrology, this I’m very aware. But seriously y’all, to each his own. I don’t swear by every detail of a card reading. But I do highly believe it’s a good way to jump start and refresh your mojo. This is what I desperately needed after the funk I was in for two or three weeks. My friend B told me about a reader she has been to a few times and each “one-hour session” ends up being a two-three hour life coaching experience. Needless to say, upon hearing that I picked up the phone and made an appointment. Sign a bitch up!

I am not going into details, because I don’t feel like sharing too much of it…it’s kinda like telling someone what you wished for while blowing out your birthday candles! And we know how I feel about birthdays.

Here’s what you need to know. Because it’s amazing.

1. My husband is in oil and gas and comes from a very well-established Dallas family.


My first response was, wait…I’m not going to marry Dierks Bentley? Bummer.

Platinum Annie: Well, at least you won’t be a husband stealing wench then, since DB is already married. #brightside  Though you would have made beautiful babies with DB…<dreamy sigh>

My mother’s response was “oh you’re going to marry one of those Ewing boys.” Yes mother, since they’re real. In all seriousness, the Ewings are based off of a real Dallas family. So of course their (actual) name has come up every time I have told a Dallas friend about this. Folks, I have a better chance of becoming President of the United States than marrying into that particular family. Besides…they’re batshit crazy.

Platinum Annie: Hey, hey  now….remember:

Funny Weekend Ecard: Here in the South, we don't hide crazy. We parade it on the front porch and give it a cocktail.

Platinum Annie cont.: We take pride in our crazies… But I understand not wanting to be married to (another) one.

But I’m super glad Dear Hubby comes with money, because…

Platinum Annie: I’m super glad he comes with money too. Cuz as I much as I love cowboys, most don’t have any money. This means I’m counting on your hubby to finance our future spa weekends.

2. I am going to have twins.


Quit laughing because the freaky deaky part you need to know about this? She’s the SECOND, not the first, but the second card reader that has told me I will have twins. The first one actually said possibly triplets, but I put an end to that pretty fast. I told her to re-read that shit. What’s hilarious is I’ve always thought I would have twins, for no reason in particular and they don’t even run in my part of the family…I’ve just always thought so. Cause I’m clearly insane.

Platinum Annie: So if they’re girls, there names will incorporate Annie and our middle names, right?  Oh the fun we’ll have decorating on your hubby’s budget!

So Readers, have Y’ALL ever had your cards read? And will you come to my baby (I’m sorry, babies) shower?

Platinum Annie:  I’ve never done the card reading, but I did a numerology thing once. She was right about my 20s and 30s so far. Holding out hope for the rest cuz apparently I get rich in my late 40s/50s. <fingers crossed> Winnebago traveling, here I come! (I’m guessing that’s what you do when you get money in your 50s???)


One thought on “I’m sorry…what?

  1. So I’m a bit behind on the blog one could say! Sorry I haven’t been over here in quiet some time. I’m glad I did because now I know to get some Cat Johnson books! The blog looks great girls! I want an Annie name but fear my would have something with bitch in the title! haha!! Keep up the good work it’s highly entertaining stuff!

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