Life Lesson of the Day…

I don’t always offer life lessons but when I do…they’re usually reinforcing the obvious but with an amusing twist. Consider yourselves fairly warned.

First, I have a few admissions to make…. 1) I leave almost empty water bottles (1/3 or less) strewn throughout my vehicle. 2) Many times, I will grab one of the plethora of bottles in the morning on my way to work just to “wet my whistle”. 3) I’ll even drink out of a bottle that I’ve lost the cap too–I mean, how dirty can the water get just sitting there in the bottle overnight in my cup holder. 4) I’m not necessarily too lazy to look for a lost bottle cap–it’s just that it would be like looking for a bottle cap in the Grand Canyon of a landfill that is the makeup of the floors in my car.

Now that I’ve confessed my sins, on to my story. Sooooo….I get up this morning and am in a slight hurry–this is normal after spending the night at the ranch. It’s a half hour drive to work from there. As I’m driving I think to myself “Gosh, I really need a drink!” So I automatically reached for the my bottle in my cup holder. I was a bit suspicious of it because I was pretty sure I had not lost the cap to it yet there it was sitting in all its glory–naked without a cap.  As I grab the bottle, I felt like I was moving in slow motion. Out of the corner of my eye (was actually kinda sorta watching the road while driving) I saw something brown where something clear should have been. Now if you know me, you know I’m a coffee fiend. My first sleepy thought was “Why is there coffee in my water bottle.”  I almost had the bottle to my lips when a memory flashed before me and I almost veered off the road in a moment of pure “EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!” This is what I saw:

Image

Let’s put aside the fact that I’m shedding…. Do ya’ll see what I see? EEEEWWWWWWWW!!!! So gross!!! Yes, this is an impromptu spit cup. I lent my cowboy my car last night (his truck is in the shop) so he could run over to the barn and he apparently found another use for my almost empty water bottle. Cowboys (well, all users of smokeless tobacco products) can apparently make a spittoon out of anything (see my top 10 list on Tales from the Toploader).  He obviously forgot to remove his new spit cup from the premises of my car upon his exit last night.

Life Lesson Learned: If you lend a cowboy your vehicle, check all liquid holding receptacles for evidence of being turned into a spittoon before sipping.  

I am just thankful it was a clear water bottle and not a cup….I sometimes take water to my car in a plastic cup. I’m not sure I would have forgiven him if I had swallowed his tobacco spit.  Thank the Lord, I wasn’t that out of it that early in the morning.

Anyone else run into a similar situation? Or have any other words of cowboy wisdom for us? Please share!

Crazy Little Annie comment: I have no advice. But I’ve been known to down a beer just to give up my can as a spit cup. For a select few. And by few, I mean one. #warmfuzzies #sharingiscaring

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5 thoughts on “Life Lesson of the Day…

  1. My son leaves the damn things everywhere…..I can usually find at least 2 under the bed after he’s been here for the wknd. And he has the nerve to steal MY giant smart water bottles to chug only because he wants a spit bottle….It ain’t only a cowboy issue…the Army boys dip like fiends.

    • I had a feeling that this might be true for any smokeless tobacco user. You have proven my intuition correct. Men!

  2. I can speak as a hopelessly addticted Copenhagen user, I’m ashamed to admit some of the things I’ve used as a spitoon. That being said, I feel your pain! As I’ve almost made the same mistake several times. Luckily its never happened! Keep the post coming! There’s no threat to my manhood by reading y’alls posts is there? If so, I don’t care! Lol

    • So we’ve nicknames you Beer Drink Andy…There’s definitely no threat to your manhood here. We love (cow)boys too much to go off insulting their manhood. Oh, and I’d really like to know some of the weird things you’ve used as a spittoon. Thinking I’m gonna have to ask D the same question this weekend. @Crazy Little Annie–We may need to do a scientific survey on this (can you see us w/clipboards going around Billy Bob’s asking all smokeless tobacco users questions)? hehehe<<<—evil laughter.

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