Tales from the top-loader…

So some people tend to think the life of a bullrider is always exciting and awesome–and it probably is…. However, it’s not so awesome for those of us lowly other people in their lives.  I date an old bullrider, whose son is a current (injured) rider.  This weekend I had the pleasure of doing 10 loads of laundry left behind by a handful of bullriders. Now before you all think “What a bunch of turds for leaving all that dirty laundry….” the washing machine broke Memorial Day weekend and D (my boyfriend) just now got around to replacing it. I didn’t have to do the laundry, either. I mean, no one forced me to do laundry. I could have left it for said bullriders to do this week. However, the house was beginning to smell ranker than Asteroid bucks, so I knew I had to do something quick (before I died from inhaling the fumes and mildew).

In 24 hours, I did 10 loads of laundry–eight of which were towels. You see, bullriders usually take their jeans and shirts to the cleaners to get starched up just right so I was left with towels, swimsuits, boxer briefs and a few random t-shirts.  Since doing laundry is pretty boring, I decided to amuse myself by making random “scientific” observations and conclusions about bullriders as a general whole.

Here are the top 10 things I learned from doing laundry for bullriders….in no real order:

10. They leave beer cans EVERYWHERE. Ok, that doesn’t have much to do with laundry, except that they actually left one in the laundry room.

9. Said empty beer cans will become spit cups once the beer is gone.

8. They must get their bullriding card pulled if they drink anything other than Lite beer. For example, Crazy Little Annie left most of a 12 pack of Shiner there a month ago, and most of it is still intact (except for what I drank. hehehe) This is in comparison to the lone Bud Light in a can tucked away in the back of the refrigerator.

Crazy Little Annie comment: I think the Shiner isn’t readily accessible. (Read: the Shiner isn’t the first thing you see when you open the fridge and/or not in one of the five coolers you can trip on in the backyard). 

7. Apparently bullriders believe in never using the same towel twice (see the part about 8 loads of towels).  They also apparently like to drop wet towels in random places.

Crazy Little Annie comment: I vote just go towel-less. 

Platinum Annie reply:  You know I agree with this. They pretty much ran around mostly naked on Memorial Day weekend, but I swear NV blushed when I eyed him critically and said “I think we need to establish a rule stating all bullriders must remain shirtless while on the property.” Well I said something to that effect. I may  have had a beer (or 5) at that point.

CLA reply: Bless his heart.

6. They seem to prefer boxers and boxer briefs in a wide variety of colors and styles. No tighty whiteys here.

Crazy Little Annie comment: if they wear anything at all….wait, what?

5. Bullriders are tiny. I kept checking the boxers/boxer briefs for the Underroo’s label.  I really thought some of these must belong to my boyfriend’s grandsons. Not the case.  These guys are just skinny!!!

Crazy Little Annie comment: what she is saying is although a lot of them are very, very easy on the eyes. The don’t look like they stepped out of a Cat Johnson novel (a good friend of Rehab Ranch) or this:

Exhibit A

Platinum Annie response: This is so true. Our beloved scrawny cowboys look like they could still wear these:

4. They like their swimsuits….again, in a variety of colors and patterns. All are long/modest suits though. No speedos for these bullriders.

3. Apparently you must own only super cool tshirts. This made sorting my boyfriend’s t’s from his son’s really easy. Cool shirt=P’s, normal average tshirt=D’s.

2. They’re tough enough to wear pink. Pink/blue plaid boxers, that is. Ok, ok, so maybe the boxers in question weren’t originally blue/pink plaid before I washed them…they are now. Ooops! (My bad—didn’t realize a red tshirt had snuck into that batch of clothes.) So let’s not make fun of them for wearing pink boxers…not their fault!

1. Bullriders get extra points for ingenuity. After running out of towels, they got their friend (whose dad works for the Rangers) to bring over a huge stack of Texas Ranger rally rags. Since the bullriders are skinny, the rally rags worked quite well as towels.

Crazy Little Annie comment: *shakes head*

And there you have it—my grand “scientific” observations/conclusions about bullriders that I came to at some point during the 10 loads of laundry. I’ll let ya’ll know if I come across any other earth-shattering conclusions about those boys in the future. 🙂

Crazy Little Annie comment: I love us.

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15 thoughts on “Tales from the top-loader…

  1. 1st off….I need a nickname. 2nd off…..I think we need clarification on if the rally rags were sufficiently big enuf to wrap around their scrawny hips and cover everything, or if the hip coverage was the only “fit”….

    • Our nicknames come from the Pistol Annie Henhouse site. 🙂 And I am not positive as I did not see said cowboys in the rally rags…..on second thought, given their propensity to run around naked, they prob never wrapped them around their hips at all….just dried off a bit and went on their way knowing those guys.

  2. I guess now I know where my guy Bill gets his bad habits! He was also a bull rider back when he was a young ‘un!

  3. Okay, where to start…
    First of all,thanks for the shout out for my bull riders though as you mentioned, I do tend to write them BIG. Personal fetish of mine, I like tall men. Not accurate for the sport, I know this– writer’s prerogative.

    Next, OMG there were just rally towels on special and I thought about getting some Let’s Buck ones and then thought , what the hell would I do with them. Now I know! Next time…

    Lastly, anything I read here may end up in a future book…fair warning to all the naked guys letting you do their laundry!

    Cat

    • Cat–Please order some “Let’s Buck” rally rags!. I can’t promise photos of said scrawny riders wearing them, but I may be able to get you some autographs.

      Secondly, to our readers, if you’re looking for seriously hot, sexy books to read this summer, check out Cat’s website at http://Www.catjohnson.net. We hear at Rehab Ranch LOVE her stuff!

      • Thanks for the shout out… We’ll talk, but I’m thinking I have lots of Let’s Buck promo the riders might like. I may need you to send me a shipping address so I can send a care package to the Rehab Ranch!! Of course, I could always deliver it in person. LOL!

    • Well Cat, Caleb Sanderson would be your bull rider then!! All 6’3″ of him!! (of course he does still have skinny hips!)

      • Hey, I don’t mind skinny hips as long as the back and shoulders are nice and wide! 6’3″ might be a bit much for me. I’ve never gone over 6’2″ in the past, since I’m not quite 5′ I try to stick at about 6′ 0″ so I don’t look like a ventriloquist’s doll next to them. LOL

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