So some people tend to think the life of a bullrider is always exciting and awesome–and it probably is…. However, it’s not so awesome for those of us lowly other people in their lives. I date an old bullrider, whose son is a current (injured) rider. This weekend I had the pleasure of doing 10 loads of laundry left behind by a handful of bullriders. Now before you all think “What a bunch of turds for leaving all that dirty laundry….” the washing machine broke Memorial Day weekend and D (my boyfriend) just now got around to replacing it. I didn’t have to do the laundry, either. I mean, no one forced me to do laundry. I could have left it for said bullriders to do this week. However, the house was beginning to smell ranker than Asteroid bucks, so I knew I had to do something quick (before I died from inhaling the fumes and mildew).
In 24 hours, I did 10 loads of laundry–eight of which were towels. You see, bullriders usually take their jeans and shirts to the cleaners to get starched up just right so I was left with towels, swimsuits, boxer briefs and a few random t-shirts. Since doing laundry is pretty boring, I decided to amuse myself by making random “scientific” observations and conclusions about bullriders as a general whole.
Here are the top 10 things I learned from doing laundry for bullriders….in no real order:
10. They leave beer cans EVERYWHERE. Ok, that doesn’t have much to do with laundry, except that they actually left one in the laundry room.
9. Said empty beer cans will become spit cups once the beer is gone.
8. They must get their bullriding card pulled if they drink anything other than Lite beer. For example, Crazy Little Annie left most of a 12 pack of Shiner there a month ago, and most of it is still intact (except for what I drank. hehehe) This is in comparison to the lone Bud Light in a can tucked away in the back of the refrigerator.
Crazy Little Annie comment: I think the Shiner isn’t readily accessible. (Read: the Shiner isn’t the first thing you see when you open the fridge and/or not in one of the five coolers you can trip on in the backyard).
7. Apparently bullriders believe in never using the same towel twice (see the part about 8 loads of towels). They also apparently like to drop wet towels in random places.
Crazy Little Annie comment: I vote just go towel-less.
Platinum Annie reply: You know I agree with this. They pretty much ran around mostly naked on Memorial Day weekend, but I swear NV blushed when I eyed him critically and said “I think we need to establish a rule stating all bullriders must remain shirtless while on the property.” Well I said something to that effect. I may have had a beer (or 5) at that point.
CLA reply: Bless his heart.
6. They seem to prefer boxers and boxer briefs in a wide variety of colors and styles. No tighty whiteys here.
Crazy Little Annie comment: if they wear anything at all….wait, what?
5. Bullriders are tiny. I kept checking the boxers/boxer briefs for the Underroo’s label. I really thought some of these must belong to my boyfriend’s grandsons. Not the case. These guys are just skinny!!!
Crazy Little Annie comment: what she is saying is although a lot of them are very, very easy on the eyes. The don’t look like they stepped out of a Cat Johnson novel (a good friend of Rehab Ranch) or this:
Platinum Annie response: This is so true. Our beloved scrawny cowboys look like they could still wear these:
4. They like their swimsuits….again, in a variety of colors and patterns. All are long/modest suits though. No speedos for these bullriders.
3. Apparently you must own only super cool tshirts. This made sorting my boyfriend’s t’s from his son’s really easy. Cool shirt=P’s, normal average tshirt=D’s.
2. They’re tough enough to wear pink. Pink/blue plaid boxers, that is. Ok, ok, so maybe the boxers in question weren’t originally blue/pink plaid before I washed them…they are now. Ooops! (My bad—didn’t realize a red tshirt had snuck into that batch of clothes.) So let’s not make fun of them for wearing pink boxers…not their fault!
1. Bullriders get extra points for ingenuity. After running out of towels, they got their friend (whose dad works for the Rangers) to bring over a huge stack of Texas Ranger rally rags. Since the bullriders are skinny, the rally rags worked quite well as towels.
Crazy Little Annie comment: *shakes head*
And there you have it—my grand “scientific” observations/conclusions about bullriders that I came to at some point during the 10 loads of laundry. I’ll let ya’ll know if I come across any other earth-shattering conclusions about those boys in the future. 🙂
Crazy Little Annie comment: I love us.